The Taser's Edge

Faux Curtain Me
September 23, 2006, 11:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized
Tonight, I watched Last Days directed by Gus Van Sant. He’s one of my favorite directors (Good Will Hunting, Gerry, Elephant). It’s about a Kurt-Cobain-like character in the last days before his death. And it reminded me of me.
Basically, the guy wanders around a huge house in the country somewhere, and then goes outside to wander from time to time. His friends don’t make an attempt to help him. (That’s not the “like me” part.) And then he’s dead.  If you have seen Gerry or Elephant, then you realize that Van Sant is not interested in things like action or dialogue.  And neither am I (as a person, not as a film viewer necessarily).
After watching it, I stood up and started wandering around our admittedly much smaller apartment, while Holly slept on the couch. The guy in the movie would eventually go find his guitar and mess around a bit. And now I am seated in front of my laptop, messing around a bit. See? We’re the same. In every way. We even mumble the same.

Here I go…wander, wander, wander, internalize, internalize, wander.  My pants are literally filled with angst to the point of red.

Of course, we're only alike to a point.  I don't wear dresses when I'm depressed.  I like my macaroni cooked.  And I don’t ominously/is-this-supposed-to-be-foreshadowing?-nope-I-guess-not-ishly drag a gun around with me all the time.  And I don’t think Holly would ever let me have a real gun in the house. Still, I would like my kids to experience the thrill of a Red Ryder BB gun. I had one when I was eight and I’m fine.  Never even like to kill spiders.

And I am officially in need of a good dose of fiction. In this analogy, you see, Fiction is like the heroin that Kurt/Blake likes, and I leave the soft drugs (ibid est non-fiction) for my friends.

Any recommendations where to score some quality fiction would be appreciated, Internet Land.

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