The Taser's Edge

Cessation of Hostilities
October 3, 2006, 11:54 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

William Tecumseh Sherman is famous for his words that “War is hell.”  We at Taser's Edge have come to the conclusion that this may or may not be true.  What we would like to say is that “War is Annoying.”  So don't go starting one, dearies.  At least now it's all over.

In case you missed it, during the exile of our royal family, there was a guess post by our very own Nick Jordan Paper Confessional (our loyal ally).

Aside from that, if you must know the real reason for the war, it is this: came across a unique end table at an estate sale in Williamson County and just had to have it.  (Apparently, the deceased had a father in the Department of Defense who smuggled it out of a government warehouse, but left it crated in his attic.)

A quick phone call got it delivered to headquarters, and it is here that the story becomes more complicated.  The official party line from is that “The Mrs.” (a high ranking, albeit anonymous insider) didn't think the table matched the Rococo stylings of the executive suite where it was placed, especially because there was a high fake-looking-face-melt rate in that particular room after the new furniture arrived.  Below, a closed-circuit video from .Comrade headquarters (note that we are almost certain that the woman identified as “Marion” is, in fact, one and the same as “The Mrs.”):

What we have heard from anonymous inside sources is that, in reality,  “The Mrs.” had developed something called “emerods” (we are still trying to track down what this means).  Whatever the reason for desiring to be rid of the gorgeous piece of craftsmanship, the reason that invaded Taser's Edge was to find storage for it.  And since then, our entire household has been blessed.

It's all true.

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