The Taser's Edge


Taser's in the Kitchen With Dinah
October 12, 2006, 1:06 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Not to worry, Bouquet, Taser's kitchen still has only one mistress.  But we here at headquarters thought it to be a snappy title.  But, to the story!!!!:

Even the worst ideas sometimes go bad.  Consider this early afternoon, when I was reading and my stomach began to feel empty and unloved.  I headed to the kitchen to cook an egg-creation.  What you must realize is that an egg-creation is definitely a family thing, as is food experimentation in general.

Consider Echelon9, formerly benthehutt, whose blog is not the least eccentric (nothing bizarre, disturbing, or out-of-the-ordinary here).  But, in high school he could be found eating minced garlic on saltine crackers for an after-school snack.  Likewise, the PaperConfessionalist has grown up to be a compassionate and well-balanced individual, but get close enough to him to be worthy of a Christmas gift, and you could find yourself the recipient of some tinned haggis.  (No link for a definition here.  I have recently heard complaints that my links are becoming too informational.  To those readers I say this.)

Anyway, to my own feast.  First, definitions.  An egg-creation is basically a poor man's omelette.  As in, scrambled eggs with other ingredients in it, and very little finesse required.  The only common ingredient, aside from eggs, is cheese.  I'm not even sure if mine today was a true egg creation, since it had no cheese.

Being the calm, cool, collected, supremely graceful, and coordinated person that I am, I have developed a technique with which I can crack two eggs with one hand, and drop them accurately into a frying pan, without shell fragments or breaking the yoke.  I don't know what the percentages are, but I can almost always do one egg.  Two eggs is maybe 45-60% of the time.

And today was not my day; I misjudged my own strength and stupidity, and shattered both shells.  One egg went completely onto the counter and the other into the bowl with a couple shell pieces.  No problem, I just scooped it off the counter into the bowl and prosoded.

But that's not the bad part.  The bad part is that I wanted to make sure to have some health in this creation, so I added some vegetables–broccoli, onions, some salsa, and…radishes.  I even thought, “Taser, that's a hahrrible idea.  Radish?!”  And then I said out loud to my inner self, “Yes, but experimenting is always better than going with what you know is good.”  (This is among the main tenets of Taserdom, if I hadn't mentioned it.)  But radishes are a bad idea.  A hahribble idea, if you will.

But I have learned something about myself while sitting here typing–radish eggs are even worse cold.  I'll have to add more clam juice next time.


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