The Taser's Edge

You might be overly stressed if…

Monday morning I completed the last piece of my M.Div. education–the final exam for Spirit, Worship, and Mission.  I wish I could say I finished strong, but I can’t…at least effort-wise.  My grades are probably fine.

Last week, I had next-to-nothing to do from Thursday at noon onward.  Each day I intended to begin looking at the study guide for Dr. Begbie’s class, and each day got away from me.  My Google Reader Trends tell the tale.  Friday–221 articles read (yes, that means article summaries read, for those of you unfamiliar with Google Reader); Saturday–90 articles read; Sunday–100 articles read.  By the way, for those interested, I have 62 subscriptions.  I am aware that it’s ridiculous.

The whole time I felt guilty, but my self-condemnation muscle went into overdrive on Sunday.  Crap!  I was not at all prepared for the final.

Still, I took time out to make burgers for Holly and I on Sunday afternoon.  And Holly decided she disliked hers enough that she would throw up.  As she vomited from her mouth, I was vomiting from my brain: Holly has swine flu.  She’s going to die.  She’s going to die, and then I’ll start chaplaincy at Duke Hospital right as the pandemic hits.  I’ll be walking around a huge room filled with moaning patients, trying to minister to them, for months of my residency, until I get sick, but I won’t die.  I’ll be one of the survivors.  They’ll just have to dump the CPE curriculum, because they’ll need us just to chaplain all the patients.

Well, Holly is fine.  She went to school Monday.  But on the topic of swine flu, I wonder if anyone outside of my family remembers the Christian punk band, One Bad Pig, and their seminal 1990 audiocassette release, Swine Flew?  If you do, then you should check out their latest touring schedule.

More seriously, I really think that I am paying attention to and being frightened by this outbreak because (unlike SARS, bird flu, et al) it is happening on this side of the world.  Not a good thing, but a true thing.

3 Comments so far
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I need you to not mention my vomiting on wordpress without my permission.


The only reason I didn’t tell people about that awesome brain attack of yours was that I didn’t want to talk about me vomiting.

Comment by bouquetofparentheses

In all your Google Readering, you should have read Wired, which had an excellent article on how Gerald Ford made 40 million people get shots because of a swine flu “sweeping” the country. Yes, I mean every ounce of those quotes. It turned out that only 1 person died–the first person to get it, and the flu was not nearly as harmful as everyone thought. Ford then lost the next election cause everyone thought he was an idiot.

Comment by Benjamin

Speaking from my experience, you shouldn’t preach to thousands of laughing people about the vomiting episode either without prior clearance.

Comment by Denise

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