The Taser's Edge

V(isual) to the L(iterary) via the B-I-B-L-E

It is apparently a terrible idea to schedule back-to-back interviews for CPE residencies.  After the first one, I kept thinking of the image of Mel Gibson’s character being disemboweled at the end of Braveheart.  It’s disappointingly difficult to find stills or video of that, but this is a similar visual representation:

Now imagine if one of these fellas had to get up for an interview 23 hours after this torture ended.  That would be similar to my experience yesterday.  Even though the torture was lighter for the second interview, for some reason, hours after participating in the image above, I didn’t want to be so vulnerable again.  I might have even been a little defensive.  Shame on me in CPE Land.

Fortunately, I had some encouragement (which may sound more depressing than encouraging, but refreshed me yesterday morning) from the readings from the Daily Office.

2 Corinthians 4:1-12

Therefore, having this ministry by the grace of God, we do not lose heart…We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair….

And then in Mark 10:32-45, we have Jesus announcing his own coming death, and the way of the faithful Christian disciple as a sharing in that death.

With all this death talk, I am thinking of the strangeness of the Christian “Good News” of death and how it sounds to the non-Christian friends who I know read this blog.  The short explanation is that we Christians believe in death AND resurrection to new life.

As for a literary description of the strange, strange world of CPE, let me share an excerpt from John Cheever’s Falconer:

The cream of the post-Freudian generation were addicts.  The rest were those psychiatric reconstructions you used to see in the back of unpopular rooms at cocktail parties. They seemed to be intact, but if you touched them in the wrong place at the wrong time they would collapse all over the floor like a spatch-cocked card trick.

Hmm…depressing post overall, possibly incredibly depressing if you are reading this and wondering how your friend or loved one wants to do this.  Two reasons which are the same reason.

  1. I am called to it.
  2. I find joy in it.


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