The Taser's Edge

Will This Movie Suck?: A Simple Test

Question 1: Does the trailer involve one or more instances of projectile bodily fluids?  The more instances, the more the movie will suck.  Let’s see how Little Fockers (3rd installment of the Meet the Parents saga) fares:

Question 2 (applicable only in rare circumstances): Has the movie already been tested with audiences and has the trailer already been released before a major star and principal character has agreed to be in the film?  In the case of Little Fockers, Universal Pictures dropped the above international trailer on YouTube on August 20th.  Then on August 24th, news broke that Dustin Hoffman had agreed to join the film.  Silly studio–first come actors, then comes movie, just like the playground nursery rhyme.

In full disclosure, I thought Meet the Parents was decent the first time I saw it.  Ben Stiller played his stock whiny guy, De Niro played his stock has-been-tough-guy (also seen in Analyze This and That), but it was okay for a light comedy.  The first problem, though, was that it was for some reason the in-flight movie on repeat both ways from Illinois to Tel Aviv in February 2001, and it wore thin after 1.5-2 more viewings.  The second problem was that it made lots of money, and on that basis alone they decided it needed sequels.  It didn’t.

A parallel case: the fact that Along Came Polly fell short of $100 million and thus didn’t spawn sequels (Polly’s Still Here; Polly’s Preggers!!!; Polly IV: The Reckoning) is proof that God both exists and loves us.

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