The Taser's Edge

Making the Classics Classic-er

Have you heard of this yet?

Why of it’s course it’s real.  Apparently, due to the fact that classic novels can no longer be copyrighted, Seth Grahame-Smith, author of a couple of his own classics, including How to Survive a Horror Movie and The Big Book of Porn, decided to collaborate with Jane Austen, in order to create…

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!

Apparently it’s the entire original novel, with extra scenes added to make it more gruesome and less, well…classic (i.e., boring).  A sample of the new work, the reworked version of one of the most famous first lines in English literature (and this is actually true): “It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”  Even before this my Mom always got worked up whenever they came out with a new version of a Jane Austen novel and there was public kissing in the previews: “They would never do that!  Not in Jane Austen!”

It will be kind of nice at all those cocktail parties I attend to be able to say that I’ve never read the original, but to no longer feel guilty about it: “You know, I’ve just never gotten around to reading Pride and Prejudice (dramatic pause for them to start judging me), unless, of course, you count Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.  Have you checked that out yet?”   See how I turned it around on them?  Who’s cultured now?

Regarding copyrights ending, I can hardly wait for classic Disney characters’ to lapse.  It’s probably our only hope that they’ll get magical again.  And then, of course, hopefully within my lifetime Dan Brown will lose his copyright and I can turn The Da Vinci Code into the Great American Novel.  A man can dream…